Season 2010 continued with added fervour as Shorter returned to the team having rewritten the rule book just in time for the game to include the following rules; Its my party and I’ll cry if I want to, Its my ball and if I say you’re not playing you’re not playing, I’ve been playing here 5 years and frankly what I say goes, My Dads bigger than your Dad. Alternatively the official ruling is… “If a non GCC player is drafted in at the last minute but then appears on a winning side has to then automatically waive there place if a returning GCC player wants a game.” Total farce but totally fair enough at the same time – fixxxxxxxxx.
Pre match rumblings.
- Janet awoken from the 2009 slumber still unable to get in the side despite a grovelling 0730hrs call on match day.
- Still far too many available parking spaces for my liking
- Bananas(in pyjamas) tossing one up for Robshaw to tw@t at Treacle meandering through the covers during practise
- Treacle wearing 4th form PE kit
- Cummings looking happy at 7pm for the first time in 3 seasons
- Everyone on time
- Morgan sporting very well trimmed head and facial hair – possible first outing for new Christmas present Remington Rimmer?
- Bananas Tossing and losing
- Everyone going to pad up Treacle still stood at the bowlers end – come on guys a bit of communication please (2 weeks in a row).
- Morgan relegated to batting at 6 after last weeks version of ‘do you wanna hit my rubber’ by the splice girls.
And so to the game with 10 overs of the worst drivel by Donkeys 1 to 5 bowling; Bananas and Wobbly-knees playing the usual selection of hard hitting and dobbling and racing to 20 not out within 5 overs… Bananas notable for hitting 6 when on 19 to retire 25 not out; nice touch. Captain scowl looking a little out of form and subsequently run out by Big Dog on 15. Big Dog unleashing the fury at the back wall but everything else leaving a lot to be desired.
Treacle playing yet another below par 9 not out for his average, and Morgan managing to find the middle of the bat for the first time in the season. Bananas coming back in for a second bash and giving Treacle a Bollokcing for taking his gloves.. quote Cockle “what did I tell you before.. I knew I’d be back in the middle, give me those gloves.” Calm down dear it’s not a Saturday afternoon and you haven’t been stuck on the square leg boundary waiting to be given the ball to throw a few overs down all afternoon. A decent 121 made all up.. also a bit boring with little or no controversy …… YET.
Oh hang on a second did I hear ‘not out … his toe was outside the line.’ Ahh yes that and the comment ‘if he’d hit it mate it would have walked he’s that kind of bloke’ funny I heard that said about AB DeVilliers once before but let’s not split hairs.
Its at this point I cannot remember what the oppo were called.. shall we call them the 3 skinny ones, 2 fat ones and a scruffy one – oh go on then. Team GB assembled back at their kit bags after dispersing Darul Shafa and the Get Fresh Crew who were looking decidedly shady hanging around next to Treacle’s work bag – Treacle being more concerned they would help themselves to the Prada Carving Slippers than the laptop and blackberry.
The discussion then ensued as to who would like to keep wickets – looking at the bowling attack and the score GB were protecting there was only one culprit – Treacle Taylor. No wicket keeping pads and possibly the flimsiest gloves a 14 year old could ever wear – there’s been more space in a Jamaican whrose backside, and about as much protection.
Pistols at dawn then ensued before the batting side hit the middle, with Robshaw looking particularly aggressive but Treacle acquitting himself well behind the stumps. In fact it seems Treacle has more promise behind the stumps than Tom Mackrill; aside from not moving at all to a fine tickle down leg. That aside it appears Janet has plenty to worry about, and when Morgan had one caught behind the excitement was just too much to handle.
Shorter bowled well taking a wicket with his first delivery back and silencing any doubters very early. The Chods then needed 24 off the last to win and shorter cleaned them up with plenty left to get. A quite hollow victory really but we’ll take it all the same and discovering a new talent behind the stumps augurs well for the upcoming outdoor season.
Jackson will be thrilled to hear that Murray is still available next week having negotiated specifically with his boss in London to accommodate the indoor Tuesday night 7oclock Headingley league such is its national importance.
YCC still have no licensee and so beer not an option… another great advert for people looking after themselves at the drinks machine – guess who?! Final point of note, how the F does Shorter work in accounts? 6 x 4 = 24… simples.
1 pound = 5 strips of biltong.
Bare Facts .. GCC 121-3, Chods 102 all out.
Cockle 30 odd n.o Cummings 20 odd n.o Robshaw slightly less Shorter slightly less Treacle slightly less Morgan.
Bowling – too busy trying to catch a round red thing to remember anything
PS…. Treacles hands like a panful of Sausages on Wednesday morning.. roll on next week!