Some of us have got work to do you know, so we haven’t got all day to be writing or thinking about indoor cricket updates.
With that in mind we are 3 weeks behind in our story of the season. And what a story. After week 6 we had the highly competitive stats of played 6 won 5, lost 1.
3 weeks later only the played and lost columns have increased. How has this happened you might all ask – has treacle stopped running? Has Tommy got stuck in the wet room? Has Saul/Morgan won a 3 week pint drinking contest? Has Shorter lost all his dummies?
The simple answer is none of the above, but we have played 3 of the better sides in the competition, and come out on the reverse each time.
Week 7
Yorkshire Z were the opponents this week, newly joining the Tuesday night league this season, but old hands at irritating the life out of anyone they play against. After the game, the GB team voted this the least enjoyable game any of us had ever played in any format, over a combined 148 year career. It was concluded that the “Z” in the team name reflected some kind of slow pace syndrome (catching some zzz’s) – the opposing players taking 5 minutes in between the incoming and outgoing batsman – at one point there was a 6 minute wait whilst the final batsman located and donned some batting inners to face the final ball of the innings. Come on man.
So, slow pace, foreign languages, and general frustration saw Goldsborough bored after 3 overs, and never able to regain the “edge” for competition. The Z’s racked up a large score and GB fell some way short. Auditors have concluded that their score was in the region of 10-15 runs “inflated” but this didn’t effect the result.
Before play Shorter had witnessed the Z’s opening bowler washing his box in the sink – not a good start. Shorter was then pressured into the toss, the desperate Z’s skipper keen to get on with it (contrary to the later performance), only for there to be be no coin – “have you got a coin?” – “no, why would I, you wanted to toss up!” – “oh right, back in a minute”. Come on.
If there was any patience remaining, it was eradicated when the “neutral” umpire signaled a wide for a delivery at the request of the “neutral” scorers, whilst the bowler was in his run up for the following delivery. The switch had been pressed – threats of bat insertion, no ball calls and trading of insults.
In conclusion, to be fair to them, they were pretty good at cricket, but they were a right royal pain in the ar5e.
Week 8
Old foes New Wortley were next on the fixture list. Proven winners in past seasons and typically the most combative and c0ck sure of the opposition in the league. But very capable.
This week they provided Goldsborough with a timely lesson in indoor batting, racking up 135 in 10 overs, almost entirely in quickly run 3’s. This reiterated the message to the GB batsmen that whilst a couple of 6’s in an over looks very good, 5 3’s results in more runs at less risk. Simple.
So, fresh from their tutorial, the GB lads strode out, and opted for the 6’s option!! Needless to say GB ended up short of the total.
The beauty of this fixture, relative to previous encounters against the same side, is that it appeared positively friendly. Compared to week 7, the opposition were gracious, courteous and full of light hearted banter. Everything in life is relative.
Whilst the game unfolded in front of them, WIlks and Murray this week spent the GB batting innings designing a new chez murray boiler at square leg. Animated hand signals, and mid air technical drawing were constructed to illustrate the boiler, either that of they were planning some little tricks for the Treacle hot tub on Saturday – as long as you can watch though Grant all will be fine I’m sure! Wet room, dark room, its all gravy Treacle.
Week 9
Aire Wharfe opposition this week in the form of Bardsey. More keen skippers keen to toss up, but at least with a coin this week. A £2 coin, naturally, fresh from the golden triangle. (note to Chairman Saul – invest in club £5 coin for 2010 for status).
Bardsey batted solidly if unspectacularly in the face of a steady flow of wickets but reached 125 with the last man standing. A good innings but a target well in reach. Bardsey made sure of every run through some marginal interpretation of the dead ball law.
GB cruised to a solid position after 4 overs (55 – 0) but some tight bowling and a steady flow of wickets saw us fall about 20 runs short in the end. Bardsey seemed to think they were played on the outdoor part of Headingley to a full crowd, with waves to the balcony and excessively competitive “wise” cracks – but fair play to them, they had every right to be delighted – they had just beaten Goldsborough in a winter 6 a side indoor 10 over game in West Yorkshire.
The result was the last thing on the GB minds, though, as focused soon turned to the mobile phone pictures of Wilks and his fur coat courtesy of Wetherby Oxfam. Please note that the price for this charity item was bartered!!
So, all in all, a disappointing few weeks. Beaten, sometimes fairly, by 3 better teams. Here’s hoping we can put in a strong finish against Fines next week followed by monacle man 2 weeks hence.