A world record squad has been assembled for the Autumn 2009 indoor season. Goldsborough’s resources stretch to an unfathomable 12 regulars, and it was therefore only to be expected that the first game was played with a complement of 5. Andy Morgan sprung a late leak (true to his Welsh heritage) and Chemical Kev sprung a late lift to Pocklington so it was left to 5 first team Saturday regulars. The statistician points out that this is the 5th consecutive season embarked upon with one man short.
GB won a successful heads call and Shorter was encouraged by the opposing skipper’s fumbling and eventual dropping of the coin. With heavy rain, a newish ball, and some humid atmospheric conditions the obvious choice was to bowl and make early inroads to exploit the early season batting frailties. Some good tight bowling by the first team bowling attack was sure to impart early pressure.
Good plan. Instead, messers Cockle and Lenny Robshaw struggled with their respective lengths and Oliconians (who?) were gifted 63 from the first 4 overs of the match. Robshaw in particular was extracting significant bounce from “just short of length”, or rather “just short of a legal length”, resulting in a match fee justifying 6 additional balls in his first over. A “natural” length. The aforementioned statistician has pointed out that this was bettered only by his own record of 11 additional balls in season 1.
Shorter had to come up with a cunning plan to stop the rot. A stroke of genius ensued and the masterplan was born – give everyone another over. It worked perfectly and off the next 4 overs only 10 runs were scored, with wannabe keeper Cummings (D) sending down the first maiden for 3 seasons (cheers stato). Oliconians (who?) continued to unsuccessfully aim for the back wall and, despite the help of some late scampered 3’s, were restricted to 98-5 in 10 overs. A sensational turnaround and proof that taking wickets does restrict the run rate, Cockle taking a sharp low catch to provide evidence that the obscure indoor lighting seems to straighten his eyes out! Lenny, however, proving the opposite by appearing to be startled by the bright dark red ball as it floated to him.
So, 99 to win should be well within reach for a batting order consisting Saturday’s opener, middle order captain, lower middle order hitter, middle lower order elegant strokemaker, and Frosty. And so it proved. A well structured run chase saw the target comfortably reached with an over and a half to spare, with all wickets in tact. A six wicket win for the 5 man team, is that possible?! Cockle and Shorter both retired inside 5 overs to lay the platform for Cummings (D) to provide a mix of tickles and forcing bump ball sixes that just reach the back wall. Some positive run calling from the standing umpire then allowed the tail to wag as Lenny and Bishop saw GB home with some cultured blows.
No evening would be complete without a little bit of “nurdle”. True to form the subject of debate (as it increasingly seems to be in our games) was the backing up of the non-striker. Threatened to be bailed twice, the GB batters adopted the policy of backing up even further each time the “bailed” threat was given. A great source of frustration for the bowler and left to the umpire to point out the rule that we don’t actually know exists.
So a 100% record after 1 game, and selection dilemmas for next week. Bishop immediately canceling next Tuesday’s pedicure for fear of not getting back in the side. With 12 to chose from for next week, the 5 man army is sure to march on.
The bare facts:
- Oliconians (who?) 98-5
- Goldsborough 102-0
- Retired: Cockle, Shorter, Cummings (D)
- Maidens: Cummings (D)
- No balls: L Robshaw (86), T Cockle (43)
- Contentious decisions: 1x run out, 1x LBW
- Bailed warnings: 2 (possibly 3)
- Biggest exaggeration: “he was 2 yards over”
Last word:
When run through the auto spell check the suggested changes are:
Robshaw = Rob’s haw – who is she?
Kev = Kiev – chicken?